Friday, June 24, 2011

Liars, Thieves, and Murderers and the Zombies Who Feel Sorry for Them

I am amazed at the reaction to thieves, liars, and murderers in the area I live in in Michigan. I hear how they are "hurting people" but in actuality they hurt people. These people may be messed up for various reasons but instead of choosing to live rightly they steal the joy, the possessions, and the very lives of others. Yes, I said choose. We all have an internal God given conscious that tells us right from wrong and some choose to kill their conscious so they can continue their crimes.

I am astounded at the reaction from neighbors and friends after a victim tells their story of being stolen from, lied to, and even having a loved one murdered. What comes out of their mouths is how much they feel sorry for the poor lost person who victimized them. So the "real victim" gets revictimized by these zombies disguised in do-gooder clothing. Yes, I said zombies!!! Because they are dead to the fact of the real pain going on inside of the real victim standing in front of them. What on earth is wrong with these crazy zombies????? I'd like to send every thief , liar, and no good scoundrel right to their home to victimize them. I have enough mercy to spare them the murderer. I usually get the "Where's grace in this?"story but dear zombies even the bible says to prove your repentance by your deeds. Look it up. It is found in Acts 26:20.

So to the dead and blind I say, " The REAL hurting have been stolen from, lied to, and murdered.' The enemy and father of lies guides victimizers to carry out Satan's will. (John 8:44) Can they be changed? Sure they can. God loves those with a repentant and contrite heart. (Psalm 51:17) SEE the difference folks between the common criminal and the soul longing to be released from bondage. It is godly sorrow. (see 2 Cor 7:10-11) Godly sorrow produces repentance, an eagerness to clear oneself, a readiness to see justice done. Godly sorrow has no room for "poor me" but is about the poor people who have been truly victimized. Look at Zacchaeus in Luke 19. He was eager to see Jesus. He was not justifying himself. He is willing and eager to give of himself and to make restitution to those he has stolen from. The result...Jesus welcomes him and calls him a child of Abraham. Recognize the spirits, blind ones. You can judge the hearts because the Holy Spirit leads the righteous. The Spirit did not intend for you to perish through lack of knowledge but if you go about with your human imposed grace making, you will wound victims and enable victimizers. Remember Acts 16:16-18. This girl was speaking truth through the wrong spirit. They were sons of the most high God telling the way to be saved as she stated but the devil was drawing attention to itself. The enemy and his children are crafty. That is why we must be as innocent as doves but as shrewd as serpents. Wake up zombies of the faith. Quit wounding the victims with your humane compassion and quit enabling the scoundrel with your self imposed grace. Recognize the repentant sinner through the leading of the Holy Spirit and his fruit (Matthew 7:16-17) and lead him to Christ. (See John 16:12) The Spirit guides into all truth. Use the gifts in the body of Christ and stop silencing those with the gifts of discernment and words of knowledge. Recognize the real victim and give him comfort. If you love blindness and enjoy being taken advantage of and believe that it is God's will for your life, walk on zombie. Would you please at least have the courtesy to leave the real victims of crime alone? Keep your human compassion to yourself. These victims need Godly compassion, a shoulder to cry on, and hopefully a justice system that will work justice.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Will You Ever Know?

Dear Husband:

Will you ever really know how much you mean to me, how much I admire and adore you, how I struggle with whether you really love me, find me attractive and why you choose me? I feel my every physical flaw under your microscope and I wince when I think you notice. I can only hope you see me through love's eyes and that it kindles your passion into a roaring fire. My imperfections speak of life's hard lessons on a sometimes weary frame. I long to be held tenderly and passionately.....every part of me, to be known by you for more than my heart and to be your greatest desire. Will you ever know how much of me hangs on your words and insights. I read your gaze and your silence and it reflects what I think of myself. So much of my soul is held in your our hands. Will you ever know the power in your role as priest of the house and lord over me? I keep private fears tucked away and pray you are kind and gentle and will protect my fragile heart. I loved you before I met you and you hold my heart in your hands.

Please Lord, lead him to be loving,careful, and kind.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Judah and Judea and a Sign from God

Sarah and Abraham are on my mind again and brought before my remembrance by a guest preacher this past Sunday evening as B and I attended church. The testimony of Elizabeth and Zachariah and God's awesome power and gift in later years of their son John the Baptist was proclaimed in that country church.

Last Saturday B and I encountered an old friend Shari of his. This encounter brought a spiritual presence of refreshing and openness we both felt. He was talking to her as I left the store. We were on our way to the 4th of July celebration at the family resort. I got in the car and was picking up things on the floor as he went back in to return a video he had forgotten to return that we had brought with us. I turned my head and in the spiritual realm it felt like a door had opened and boom there she was. I could sense the sincerity as she told me she wanted to welcome me to Leelauou county and congratulated me on my marriage to B. She spoke of her recent marriage 2 years ago to a man who was working on her home and then said who would believe I had a child at 45. I said "Let me see." I wanted to see the evidence. And there in a car seat was her half/white half/black infant son. What a blessing. WOW!!! Is the Lord trying to direct B and I?

The weekend before I was praying about having a child with B. I opened a book he had been reading to lay my eyes on the story of Leah and Rachel. I read of how the Lord had compassion on Leah and with her first 3 sons she desired for her husband to love her. No such luck. Jacob loved Rachel. Her 4th child she named Judah because she praised the Lord for her blessing instead of looking for her husband's love. Her 4th child....Is the Lord trying to say something? Christ the lion of the tribe of Judah. I longed for my first husband to love me. Now the Lord has given me a husband that loves me. I would like to honor the Lord and name him Judah. I would like to have twins...boy and girl (Judea.) Would the Lord bless us so?

Would you mighty God preform a miracle on B to reverse his vasectomy or would you have us pay a doctor to perform the operation. I never dreamed before I met B that I would desire another child in later years. I desire to be bonded to this man in this way raise a child with the wisdom and guidance and trust we have in God now in later years... To start again to raise a child now...Mighty God let us not disappoint you in our decisions. We love and trust you. We need you Lord. Let us not fail your plans. Would you give me the desires of my heart? Are my desires pleasing to you Lord? Your will be done Lord.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Something Deeper

Honest communication is a rare thing and to weigh the weight of truth and sprinkle it with love a delicate balance. Love and old habits and ways of thinking of a marriage now long dead and gone still follow me into this new life with you. Physical love never denied was a pact I shared with my ex husband. Emotional and spiritual love were often neglected and left open for speculation in private hearts never to be spoken out loud and shared. I was left wondering and floundering but physically held close so I clung to what I had....hoping for something deeper. I have a watchful heart that wants to share all of me but is afraid of this love being a lie, afraid that you will leave me poor and alone, left to fend for myself in later years. Fearful that this love is second to the bond of the woman you had children with and that my children will never share in anything more than your words of encouragement for their future. They are not the fruit of your loins. Their father and their hope, their inheritance are in heaven. Your private plans and thoughts,those things you protect and I sense hold my heart at bay. A family shares all but it really isn't the case here. I shared all I had. Body, mind and soul with a man who took and did not give. I share a part with you and wonder if I can do it again. Private deals and plans that don't include me hold my heart at bay...maybe forever. I still hope for something deeper.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Genuine man

I love your authenticity my love. Your blue eyes looking for love and assurance in mine is not weakness. It is why God put us together. To help one another...a three stranded cord is not easily broken. I too need your leading, love and hope for a marriage that is just starting as we are in our later years. What you despise about yourself...I love. I love rough hands calloused with years of work that tenderly reach out and touch me and tousled gray hair graced with the Lord's wisdom...I look up to you and admire the things you have learned. Torn muscles on your left bicep paint one of life's mishaps on your frame. You are not perfect and I love that. It makes you real because mighty man you too are vulnerable. Lines of stress and laughter show you have lived life well and lived it hard.

I relish lying in bed with you on crisp sheets running my fingers through curly chest hairs gray, black, and soft. I kiss your lips and taste the salt from a days hard work. I fall asleep hearing you snore. The rhythmic sound puts me to sleep. All must be well and right for the man of the house is asleep and at peace. Then I too may sleep soundly knowing you are keeping watch unconsciously. You are the Lord's best for me and you were worth the wait......

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


Grace is so easy to receive but I often find it hard to give. When deeply wounded by someone you love, grace is a difficult thing. My heart mourns and grieves for the best I saw in him. My hope is ripped away to show an ugly truth. Usually a selfish sin but one of the heart...a heart meant not to share is stabbed with the knife of betrayal and it crushes my hopeful soul so I can't breathe. My mind is perplexed and I can't think logical thoughts. Love wouldn't do such things. Love wouldn't dream of it. Honor could not stand the thought of it. And loyalty would not entertain the thought. How can he love me? How could it be possible. He must still have love for her and I have no room for this. Where is the honorable man who promised his undivided love. It must be a lie. Where your heart is your actions will follow. I still grieve and struggle this painful truth of betrayal and I don't fully trust. Because of my ex these old wounds are still there clothed but under the surface and tender like a fresh bruise. They really never have completely healed. When touched by a small poke ( a comment or inconsiderate action) that awakens these pains of the past, I react like a bad wound poked but covered up. When hurts of the past resurface and combine with your betrayal having similar qualities, I lump them together in the deep of my soul and grapple with the pain and the grace I know the Lord wants me to give. God help me because I do love him. Help me God not to judge lest I be judged.

When Job forgave and prayed for his friends, the Lord blessed him. Job42:3 says that the Lord blessed the later part of Job's life more than the first. Help me God to remove this bitterness of the soul and replace it with a heart of grace.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Made to Lead and Made to Help

I am blessed to be married to a man who sometimes lovingly corrects me because he is learning to love. To guide a woman and wait for God and her conscious to be of one accord is a wondrous task...worth the wait if one dare to risk waiting. I can rest in this kind of gentle, patient, God-trusting, powerful, hopeful love.

Don't give up on me my heart cries. Don't see me in my worst light. See the best and wait and pray and gently lead. If you don't give up, you will see my flaws buffed out like a high gloss polish on a flat wood surface. And if you look closely you will see the Lord's reflection because you dared to wait and trust that his perfect will would be made complete in me.

I too shall pray and wait and hope and trust the Lord. You will lead and love as He has planned. I shall see the Lord's reflection in your soul. You were made in his image. I was made to help you.