Sunday, July 16, 2006

July16, 2006 Miracles

I spoke with the Bare last night. Poor guy is so tired and doesn't believe in naps. He was about to let me go and as the LOrd would have it got his second wind and ministered to me in a powerful way. I was feeling tied up in knots about seeing him...wanting to but not wanting to. I was feeling nervous about the relationship and unsure of what may happen when we meet. I was just darn scared. Bare being full of the Holy Spirit and his God given casual manner put it simply and truthfully, "We need to trust God for this. He is bigger than both of us and he will take care of this." I felt free to relax and believe God for us. Hallehujah!!!

God also revealed to me Bare's heart and God told me of the major heart surgery he has done in his life. I am sensitive to tender-hearted people who feel used and I want to protect them but this was different. This tender heart isn't weak....it is strong and powerful. It is a heart shaped by God not human neglect or abuse even though both those things were involved... What a gift. A gift too awesome to take. That is how I feel. I can't take it. I thought that when I fasted for 49 days that I had seen so much of God, I saw him work through the church with words of knowledge and He expressed his awesome love through the body of christ and how they cared for me. I warred in the spirit and hung on with all my might to his promises. But Bare had heart surgery....and he operates with the greatest gift of all which is love. I am so awed by the work the Lord has done in him. I linger around the Lord's table but I haven't felt worthy or trusted to let go and drink in the Lord's love. 1Cor. 13:1-3 says, "If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have the a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I have to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." I have been in the presense and been ministered to by a man who has let and trusted the Lord to do his painful work of real love.....for it truly is heart surgery and we have to lay down and die in order for him to take out his scapel and scrape away what we thought was love and replace it with a new heart full of genuine love. How awesome.

Yesterday Bare called me in the morning to pray the word over me. WOW!!! He prayed Ephesians 1:15 For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you , the riches of his glorious inheritancein the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strenth which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right handin the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title t6hat can be given, not only at the present age but also in the one to come. And God place all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way....He also prayed Ephesians 3:14 For this reason I kneel before the father, from whom his whole family in heaven and earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. V.20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus thoughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. .....
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It is now June 13, 2007 and I was looking back at unedited and unposted blogs. I didn't finish this blog but I married this man. I wonder at what the Lord has done and where ahe has brought us. Thank you Lord for guiding me and the Bare. You are an awesome God and we are only your servants.